does this song make anyone else besides me want to scratch their ears off??
I hope this doesn't totally ruin your day.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Friday, January 15, 2010
sometimes I hate my parents for raising me to have amazing manners.
what a week. school's back in, and break flew by way too fast. It's good to have a routine, though, and so far, I'm loving my non-general classes. Now I remember why I'm doing the whole college thing.
Well this post is dedicated to a certain breed of people: people who lack social grace. I mean, no one is perfect, but if my two year old nephew can sign "hello, aunt Vanessa," any adult who's met me more than once should hopefully be able to acknowledge my existence too.
Incident #1. -
Taylor and I went to my parent's ward for Christmas Sunday and as we were sitting, waiting for the services to start, an old co-worker of mine walked in the chapel. We immediately made eye contact, and exchanged smiles. But I knew her really well (a few years ago, she voluntarily took me under her wing and voluntarily gave me older sisterly advice about boys, money, life in general. We discussed her depression a lot, and she kept in touch with me to let me know all the ways she was getting better. At one point, we were going to share an apartment together, but that fell through...But overall, she and I had a special bond) so I decided a simple smile wasn't enough. So I was like "How are you??!! Are you in this ward??" then immediately introduced her to my mom and husband. "We used to work together, a long long time ago" I told them. Then she was like, "Oh, yeah! Mrs. Powell's. A long time ago." Then amidst my excitement, she leans over cheek to cheek with me and asks, "Remind me, what's your name again?"
Incident #2 -
I was working at the mall the other night and as a polite employee, I'm like super cheesy nice when I'm at work. I will sometimes get overly chatty with customers, but I keep it under control. Kind of out of character, so I think it throws people off, and I can understand. SOO anyways this girl that I know, went to church with, yada yada, walks towards the counter and I'm like "Hey!! How are you??!!" And she's like, "Good.....(hesitates)....." and I'm like "So what's new, are you living in Pocatello now?" and she's like, "No........." and I'm like "No? Boise??!!!" and she's like "No........" and I can totally see in her face the confusion. She has no clue who I am. So I gave up. I finished getting her a glass of water and said "Ok have a good one" trying to make it not awkward. Yah, I'm creepy and like to ask all my customers personal questions. C'mon, get a clue girl!! So as she puts her straw in her cup, she says "Phillips....it's a Phillips." And I looked at her like, "uh, yeahh...." slightly annoyed.
When the first incident happened, my mind froze and my mouth was like "Vanessa!" like "duh!! hello!!! don't act like you don't know my name, girl who looked me up in the phone book to send me a wedding announcement!" Looking back on it, it probably sounded a little rude, but I was NOT expecting to be asked to remind her what my name was!! That's just tacky. I would have preferred her to take a seat, think about it during the service, and when she finally remembered, come back and be like, "So, Vanessa, how's married life?" since I LOVE that question.
Maybe it's a matter of personal taste. I prefer to learn and remember people's names, and then use it when I see them because it helps me connect to that person better. And the older I get, connecting to people is important to me. If remembering names is difficult, then try harder, or fake your way through it until it comes to ya. There is nothing more socially awkward than making the other person feel like they're forgotten, even if they truly are.
So, naturally, since it's the first week of school, I've been a little avoidant. Hello Jr high vanessa again. How will I know that if I say Hi to someone in passing or on the bus, they'll say Hi back, or just give me a confused blank stare? Fortunately, so far, it's been a breeze. So many polite people who brighten my day with their smile. I even had a stranger, who thought I was someone else but realized I wasn't that person, ask me how I was, and still told me to have a good day. That, to me, is class.
So after incident #2 happened, and she figured out that "it's a Phillips," (yep, that's me alright) she just turned around and walked off. No "Oh, hey!!", or "I feel stupid for not realizing who you were at first" or anything. And to me, that is a total insult. But looking back, I'm not too offended because she looked like she put her makeup on in the dark, so my guess is there's something seriously, and bigger than forgetting my face/name, wrong with her.
Am I totally old-fashioned, or what? Should I start wearing a name tag wherever I go just in case? Kinda silly, really. But if I can find a cute one from Etsy, I seriously would wear a name tag. ahh hilarious! Short term memory generation, what?!! nah...
Well this post is dedicated to a certain breed of people: people who lack social grace. I mean, no one is perfect, but if my two year old nephew can sign "hello, aunt Vanessa," any adult who's met me more than once should hopefully be able to acknowledge my existence too.
Incident #1. -
Taylor and I went to my parent's ward for Christmas Sunday and as we were sitting, waiting for the services to start, an old co-worker of mine walked in the chapel. We immediately made eye contact, and exchanged smiles. But I knew her really well (a few years ago, she voluntarily took me under her wing and voluntarily gave me older sisterly advice about boys, money, life in general. We discussed her depression a lot, and she kept in touch with me to let me know all the ways she was getting better. At one point, we were going to share an apartment together, but that fell through...But overall, she and I had a special bond) so I decided a simple smile wasn't enough. So I was like "How are you??!! Are you in this ward??" then immediately introduced her to my mom and husband. "We used to work together, a long long time ago" I told them. Then she was like, "Oh, yeah! Mrs. Powell's. A long time ago." Then amidst my excitement, she leans over cheek to cheek with me and asks, "Remind me, what's your name again?"
Incident #2 -
I was working at the mall the other night and as a polite employee, I'm like super cheesy nice when I'm at work. I will sometimes get overly chatty with customers, but I keep it under control. Kind of out of character, so I think it throws people off, and I can understand. SOO anyways this girl that I know, went to church with, yada yada, walks towards the counter and I'm like "Hey!! How are you??!!" And she's like, "Good.....(hesitates)....." and I'm like "So what's new, are you living in Pocatello now?" and she's like, "No........." and I'm like "No? Boise??!!!" and she's like "No........" and I can totally see in her face the confusion. She has no clue who I am. So I gave up. I finished getting her a glass of water and said "Ok have a good one" trying to make it not awkward. Yah, I'm creepy and like to ask all my customers personal questions. C'mon, get a clue girl!! So as she puts her straw in her cup, she says "Phillips....it's a Phillips." And I looked at her like, "uh, yeahh...." slightly annoyed.
When the first incident happened, my mind froze and my mouth was like "Vanessa!" like "duh!! hello!!! don't act like you don't know my name, girl who looked me up in the phone book to send me a wedding announcement!" Looking back on it, it probably sounded a little rude, but I was NOT expecting to be asked to remind her what my name was!! That's just tacky. I would have preferred her to take a seat, think about it during the service, and when she finally remembered, come back and be like, "So, Vanessa, how's married life?" since I LOVE that question.
Maybe it's a matter of personal taste. I prefer to learn and remember people's names, and then use it when I see them because it helps me connect to that person better. And the older I get, connecting to people is important to me. If remembering names is difficult, then try harder, or fake your way through it until it comes to ya. There is nothing more socially awkward than making the other person feel like they're forgotten, even if they truly are.
So, naturally, since it's the first week of school, I've been a little avoidant. Hello Jr high vanessa again. How will I know that if I say Hi to someone in passing or on the bus, they'll say Hi back, or just give me a confused blank stare? Fortunately, so far, it's been a breeze. So many polite people who brighten my day with their smile. I even had a stranger, who thought I was someone else but realized I wasn't that person, ask me how I was, and still told me to have a good day. That, to me, is class.
So after incident #2 happened, and she figured out that "it's a Phillips," (yep, that's me alright) she just turned around and walked off. No "Oh, hey!!", or "I feel stupid for not realizing who you were at first" or anything. And to me, that is a total insult. But looking back, I'm not too offended because she looked like she put her makeup on in the dark, so my guess is there's something seriously, and bigger than forgetting my face/name, wrong with her.
Am I totally old-fashioned, or what? Should I start wearing a name tag wherever I go just in case? Kinda silly, really. But if I can find a cute one from Etsy, I seriously would wear a name tag. ahh hilarious! Short term memory generation, what?!! nah...
Saturday, January 9, 2010
this one will probably bore you, don't feel bad if you can't get through it
This current song, Sweet Disposition, haunts me.
It reminds me of Bon Iver's Lump Sum, my sorta theme song from last summer.
Coincidence, Sweet Disposition came from the (500) Days of Summer soundtrack, and Lump Sum came into my life last summer, which almost felt like 500 days.
I miss last summer. Almost makes me cry when I think about the time I had, just me and Jonas in an apartment, completely away from family or close friends. Completely. My laptop kept two tabs open constantly: projectplaylist.com and blogspot.com, going back and forth listening to whatever song I was in the mood for.
I wrote a lot. I kept an online journal when I was emotionally exhausted from being alone all day. I sometimes go back and read those, remembering that specific day's events, what I was wearing, what Tv shows I watched. It's all tucked away deep in my brain and now when I sit down to reflect on my life, I think back to those precious days of desperately wanting to run to Idaho and barge through people's doors and hold them in my arms.
I missed my loved ones. I gained a huge appreciation for them and their efforts for treating me better than I treated them sometimes.
I miss the heat of the sun. The walk to the mailbox everyday at 2 pm, anticipating a letter from home. I miss the guy with a limp who shuffled past my window everyday. I miss the pool and the pretty landscape.
I miss Ina Garten, my temporary mother-figure, on Food Network. Her calming voice and gentle smile lifted me up right at the mid-day break where depression would sometimes filter in. Thank goodness for the sporadic afternoons when Taylor had a break and kept me company. I loved him so much for saving me.
I loved when my sweet niece Elise would call me during her sister's T-ball game. She'll never know how much those phone calls meant to me.
I miss going to Winco with Taylor and buying strawberry leather strips from bulk and eating it all gone by the time we got back. Ordering Pizza Guys at least once a week. The chic Elephant Bar with Johnny and Maren.
And Maren... I miss hanging out with her in the living room, watching TV and Jonas and Tito chase each other in circles. Discussing food, recipes, dogs, roses and butterflies. Okay maybe not the last two, but the conversation was always pleasant and uplifting. Thank you, Maren.
I finally got around to watching (500) Days of Summer and have watched it several times these past few days. It struck a chord with me; the heartache part. Saying goodbye to something you are attached to. Summer. Even if you're better since the transition, there's a sort of longing to find closure so you can really move on.
REALLY MOVE ON.
we left abruptly, and at night, and I didn't get to look back as we drove away, forever. Next thing I knew we were in Twin Falls and I felt like myself again. The smells, the feel of the crisp mountain air at 6:30 in the morning. The twinges of excitement knowing that in less than three hours I would be home sweet home. The familiarity flooding my mind, preoccupied with how I was going to spend my first week at home. I intentionally put my summer on the backburner, because being home was the only thing I could focus on for three months straight.
After my last final this last semseter, I came home, immediately crashed on the couch and drifted off to TV. Somehow, in the blink of an eye, four months passed by.
Memories of a less crazy time began to surface and that was when I realized I had it pretty good this summer. I couldn't help but fall in love with the summer I thought I despised. Take me back! I want my spot by the pool, my special trail that I took Jonas out to pee, and the fragrant floral smell that blanketed the air at dusk back. I want those long walks down Fair Oaks to the park, thinking of things I could make and sell on Etsy back. I want those occasional overcast mornings when I'd eat my breakfast looking out the window, Sunday mornings going to a family ward with kids running around, and late nights watching movies on the living room floor with Taylor. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button changed my life, I remember. So poignant.
yeah, give me a few months and I'll be whining about another time in my life I took for granted then later appreciate because it was simpler then. **sigh**
It reminds me of Bon Iver's Lump Sum, my sorta theme song from last summer.
Coincidence, Sweet Disposition came from the (500) Days of Summer soundtrack, and Lump Sum came into my life last summer, which almost felt like 500 days.
I miss last summer. Almost makes me cry when I think about the time I had, just me and Jonas in an apartment, completely away from family or close friends. Completely. My laptop kept two tabs open constantly: projectplaylist.com and blogspot.com, going back and forth listening to whatever song I was in the mood for.
I wrote a lot. I kept an online journal when I was emotionally exhausted from being alone all day. I sometimes go back and read those, remembering that specific day's events, what I was wearing, what Tv shows I watched. It's all tucked away deep in my brain and now when I sit down to reflect on my life, I think back to those precious days of desperately wanting to run to Idaho and barge through people's doors and hold them in my arms.
I missed my loved ones. I gained a huge appreciation for them and their efforts for treating me better than I treated them sometimes.
I miss the heat of the sun. The walk to the mailbox everyday at 2 pm, anticipating a letter from home. I miss the guy with a limp who shuffled past my window everyday. I miss the pool and the pretty landscape.
I miss Ina Garten, my temporary mother-figure, on Food Network. Her calming voice and gentle smile lifted me up right at the mid-day break where depression would sometimes filter in. Thank goodness for the sporadic afternoons when Taylor had a break and kept me company. I loved him so much for saving me.
I loved when my sweet niece Elise would call me during her sister's T-ball game. She'll never know how much those phone calls meant to me.
I miss going to Winco with Taylor and buying strawberry leather strips from bulk and eating it all gone by the time we got back. Ordering Pizza Guys at least once a week. The chic Elephant Bar with Johnny and Maren.
And Maren... I miss hanging out with her in the living room, watching TV and Jonas and Tito chase each other in circles. Discussing food, recipes, dogs, roses and butterflies. Okay maybe not the last two, but the conversation was always pleasant and uplifting. Thank you, Maren.
I finally got around to watching (500) Days of Summer and have watched it several times these past few days. It struck a chord with me; the heartache part. Saying goodbye to something you are attached to. Summer. Even if you're better since the transition, there's a sort of longing to find closure so you can really move on.
REALLY MOVE ON.
we left abruptly, and at night, and I didn't get to look back as we drove away, forever. Next thing I knew we were in Twin Falls and I felt like myself again. The smells, the feel of the crisp mountain air at 6:30 in the morning. The twinges of excitement knowing that in less than three hours I would be home sweet home. The familiarity flooding my mind, preoccupied with how I was going to spend my first week at home. I intentionally put my summer on the backburner, because being home was the only thing I could focus on for three months straight.
After my last final this last semseter, I came home, immediately crashed on the couch and drifted off to TV. Somehow, in the blink of an eye, four months passed by.
Memories of a less crazy time began to surface and that was when I realized I had it pretty good this summer. I couldn't help but fall in love with the summer I thought I despised. Take me back! I want my spot by the pool, my special trail that I took Jonas out to pee, and the fragrant floral smell that blanketed the air at dusk back. I want those long walks down Fair Oaks to the park, thinking of things I could make and sell on Etsy back. I want those occasional overcast mornings when I'd eat my breakfast looking out the window, Sunday mornings going to a family ward with kids running around, and late nights watching movies on the living room floor with Taylor. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button changed my life, I remember. So poignant.
yeah, give me a few months and I'll be whining about another time in my life I took for granted then later appreciate because it was simpler then. **sigh**
Saturday, January 2, 2010
definitely a monet
I'm not sure what came over me, but one second I had the idea to make homemade bagels and the next second my kitchen turned into a mini-bagelry. These tasted good but I'll probably never make them again because it took way too much time. Good thing I made three batches and only ate one single bagel and threw the rest out. Taylor took one look at them and laughed. What?? They're hard to shape!!! Not as easy as it looks :)K but seriously, if anyone has the yellow chicken curry recipe from the Thai restaurant in Lava they can lend me, I'd be most appreciative. thanks.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Your fireworks woke me up last night, jerk face.
Because I insist on seeing the silver lining in everything bad, I'm going to deviate from the consensus that 2009 was a crappy year. There were actually a lot of really good things that surfaced this year and I would be amiss to not acknowledge those things.
January 2009- got a calling in church with Taylor as Temple coordinators. Allowed us to go at least once a month for the first five months of our marriage. However, we never did sessions and when I came back from California and went with the ward to do a session, I forgot almost everything. SO embarrassing.
February- got a new puppy, named him Jonas to be funny, regretting it now.
March- Phil and Mandy tied the knot, so we could all hang out as married couples, whereas before it wasn't as cool to hang out when some of us were married and some of us weren't. ;)
April- Saw "Wicked" and loved it. I listened to the soundtrack maybe a million times, and even more while in California.
May- Put on a cute dance recital (all by myself) and managed to pack my life up and move to Sacramento two hours later.
June- Spent everyday poolside or at the park with my posse: Maren, Jonas, and Tito. Floated the American River, swung from a rope, slept in, watched television for hours, and fed my Don Draper obsession with Mad Men dvds.
July- Decided one day to try out the Citrus Heights library. Figured I'd check out a bunch of books and sit outside and read. After two hours of being at a bum-friendly fixture, I decided to walk back to my apartment. Taylor was in another city doing an install that would take two hours, then he had another one right after that, and I didn't know which bus to get on. Two hours and a quick stop at the mall later, I arrived home to an anxious Jonas. Funniest and most eventful day that summer. Oh did I mention it was during the hottest spell of the year? It was.
August- Discovered yoga. I know, I've been exposed my entire life, but have never actually tried it. It was close enough to ballet, which I liked, more comfortable than barre exercises, yet equally as challenging. My back pains healed themselves, my knees improved, and I felt stronger overall. I anxiously signed up for ballet III and Modern III for the fall semester, stronger than I have ever been in my life.
September- Came home, started school, started up again at Mrs. Powell's, lived with mom and dad. Happy to be up and about, while Taylor stayed home with the dogs. Reunited with my friends. Happy to be back and breathe dry Idaho air with a hint of manure. Loved holding my nieces and nephews. I missed them the most.
October- Found ourselves needing to find a place to call our own. Johnny hooked us up with an adorable two-story home in a wonderful neighborhood, and the best part was that it was within our ward boundaries. Oh and it had a fenced backyard for the doggies. Major blessing.
November-Moved into our new "home." We were blessed again when Taylor was offered a job at the site, after waiting months of following up. I turned 25 and decided my body is telling me something. Prayed and got an answer.
December- Had a major epiphany about my life and decided to, once again, change my major. I'll discuss it more when I get accepted and going, hopefully this semester. Got Taylor registered for his generals, that his work will pay for. My job was a mess for a few weeks, then we just decided it's time for a major change, which I'll write more about later. My sister had her fifth baby. Liam Bryce, after his deceased uncle Bryce Millward.
Life has been ever-changing this past year, and unpredictable to say the least. But I am so happy with where it took me and I am happy to be where I am at this very moment. Honestly, the best part of my entire year was the summer break in a new place with new faces, having a lot of time to ponder and pray for answers. The biggest lesson I learned was that as long as I'm working hard, at something-anything-, I receive my answers, and extra forms of mercy, so this just confirms what I've been taught my entire life is true, regardless of the economy woes or sudden deaths. It's good to be validated after years of struggling, wondering if it's worth it.
It is.
Cheers 2009.
Happy New Year!
January 2009- got a calling in church with Taylor as Temple coordinators. Allowed us to go at least once a month for the first five months of our marriage. However, we never did sessions and when I came back from California and went with the ward to do a session, I forgot almost everything. SO embarrassing.
February- got a new puppy, named him Jonas to be funny, regretting it now.
March- Phil and Mandy tied the knot, so we could all hang out as married couples, whereas before it wasn't as cool to hang out when some of us were married and some of us weren't. ;)
April- Saw "Wicked" and loved it. I listened to the soundtrack maybe a million times, and even more while in California.
May- Put on a cute dance recital (all by myself) and managed to pack my life up and move to Sacramento two hours later.
June- Spent everyday poolside or at the park with my posse: Maren, Jonas, and Tito. Floated the American River, swung from a rope, slept in, watched television for hours, and fed my Don Draper obsession with Mad Men dvds.
July- Decided one day to try out the Citrus Heights library. Figured I'd check out a bunch of books and sit outside and read. After two hours of being at a bum-friendly fixture, I decided to walk back to my apartment. Taylor was in another city doing an install that would take two hours, then he had another one right after that, and I didn't know which bus to get on. Two hours and a quick stop at the mall later, I arrived home to an anxious Jonas. Funniest and most eventful day that summer. Oh did I mention it was during the hottest spell of the year? It was.
August- Discovered yoga. I know, I've been exposed my entire life, but have never actually tried it. It was close enough to ballet, which I liked, more comfortable than barre exercises, yet equally as challenging. My back pains healed themselves, my knees improved, and I felt stronger overall. I anxiously signed up for ballet III and Modern III for the fall semester, stronger than I have ever been in my life.
September- Came home, started school, started up again at Mrs. Powell's, lived with mom and dad. Happy to be up and about, while Taylor stayed home with the dogs. Reunited with my friends. Happy to be back and breathe dry Idaho air with a hint of manure. Loved holding my nieces and nephews. I missed them the most.
October- Found ourselves needing to find a place to call our own. Johnny hooked us up with an adorable two-story home in a wonderful neighborhood, and the best part was that it was within our ward boundaries. Oh and it had a fenced backyard for the doggies. Major blessing.
November-Moved into our new "home." We were blessed again when Taylor was offered a job at the site, after waiting months of following up. I turned 25 and decided my body is telling me something. Prayed and got an answer.
December- Had a major epiphany about my life and decided to, once again, change my major. I'll discuss it more when I get accepted and going, hopefully this semester. Got Taylor registered for his generals, that his work will pay for. My job was a mess for a few weeks, then we just decided it's time for a major change, which I'll write more about later. My sister had her fifth baby. Liam Bryce, after his deceased uncle Bryce Millward.
Life has been ever-changing this past year, and unpredictable to say the least. But I am so happy with where it took me and I am happy to be where I am at this very moment. Honestly, the best part of my entire year was the summer break in a new place with new faces, having a lot of time to ponder and pray for answers. The biggest lesson I learned was that as long as I'm working hard, at something-anything-, I receive my answers, and extra forms of mercy, so this just confirms what I've been taught my entire life is true, regardless of the economy woes or sudden deaths. It's good to be validated after years of struggling, wondering if it's worth it.
It is.
Cheers 2009.
Happy New Year!