storys that make me chukel when I think about them

• When I worked at Elmer's Restaurant, I was only a hostess. I was responisble for sitting customers and getting them some water or coffee until they were waited on. One Sunday morning a huge brunch group came in and after they ordered their food, I was in charge of keeping their mugs refilled with coffee. I wasn't used to handling such situations, especially when they were sitting close together and I had to maneuver between tables with a hot coffee pot. I was almost done when I snuck my arm between two ladies heads and began to pour. Thinking I had mastered the reach around technique, I accidently rested my arm on a plate of mixed fruit. I raised my arm slowly as to not make it obvious that my arm touched the lady's food, but somehow a sliced banana stuck to my skin. In my head, I found it kind of funny because that's my sense of humor. But the lady was totally grossed out, as she should be. I didn't really know how to respond other than raise my arm up and out of their eye level, exposing the piece of banana basically super glued to my arm. Thank goodness the food came out just then. I would have probably tried to explain that my arm gives out when it has to reach long distances.
• One time I was driving and saw a car that I recognized parked on the side of the street. I thought it might be the guy I had a little crush on at the time, so I pulled over a few houses down and parked behind a car so I wouldn't be discovered. It was nighttime and I couldn't really see very much. I suddenly remembered I had binoculars in my trunk so I got out my binoculars in case he happened to walk out of the house, I'd get an even better look. After ten minutes of waiting, I decided this was stupid and creepy so I figured the best thing to do was leave a note on his car. He'd like something like that. By the way, this was way before text messaging. So I found a scrap of paper and wrote something like "hey, just passed by and saw your car" etc. I got out of my car and noticed that I'd probably get caught in the act if I walked directly to his car, because it would mean that I would have to walk past the house and who knows? they could have all been in the front room and seen me. That would be embarrassing!! So instead I ran around the block the opposite way so that I'd be approaching his car on the other side of the house. I think I was wearing flip flops and trying to run before the adrenaline wore off. I finally get around the block, come from behind and his car wasn't there. Huffing and puffing, I stood there like an idiot, trying to catch my breath and make my side stop hurting. I finally recover and realizing I didn't want to walk in front of the house to get to my car, ya know in case someone saw me, I walked ALL the way around the block again, got in my car, drove home, and realized that I put forth WAY too much effort over a silly crush. I'm just glad NO ONE witnessed my frantic running and the look on my face when the car was MIA.
• One time I actually went to FHE in my singles ward. It was over at my bishop's house and after the activities I was scoping out the family pictures hung up on their walls. The bishop's wife came over and described the location of one of their portraits and my reply was "it's beautiful, and your kids look just like you." She didn't really respond back and I didn't really think much of it. The next Sunday the bishop was speaking at the pulpit and started talking about his twin sons, the ones who were in the family picture, and talked about the long and trying process of adoption and him and his wife's difficulty trying to conceive for so many years. ahh I was so embarrassed.
  
• I was working one morning with my friend Jenn and somehow ended up with a batch of spoiled dough. So we put the dough in a plastic bag, and started over. Hours had passed and the dough that we put in the sack had doubled in size. Jenn named it "Donny" the dough, and started drawing a face on the bag (Jenn is an artist, so this is normal behavior). We were laughing pretty hard as this bag was growing by the minute, stretching the bag to its capacity. We decided we should give Donny away as a gift, as a joke, or just set it on someone's doorstep and run. So we took it to our co-worker's apartment and decided to leave it with her roommate. Days passed. Didn't hear anything about a mysterious bag of dough. So we started to wonder if her roommate just threw it away. Nope. Instead she put the already-rancid bag under her bed and apparently it sat there for at least a week or two. Our co-worker finally discovered the bag after a week of horible sour yeasty fumes penetrating her bedroom. By the time she discovered Donny, he was busting through the sack and growing mold like you wouldn't believe.