death and distance.

I would do anything to be home right now. We drove all day Tuesday to Pocatello for grandma Jocelyn's funeral. Then the following morning, right before we got in the car to drive back, my mom called me and told me about Bryce Millward's helicopter crash. I should have stayed and had Taylor go back, but I wasn't really thinking straight. It wasn't until we made it back to California that I just wanted so badly to see Emma and Elise. and Gavin, Lily, and of course Megan and Curtis, Bryce's older brother.

The service for Jocelyn was wonderful. I was able to finally meet Taylor's other side of the family. Halfway during the service I started crying, opening the flood gates and made me continue crying nonstop. Taylor gave the benediction, which made him cry, and sent me over the edge. I had to excuse myself to the car to recover. Even though I was an outsider and she wasn't my grandma, I was inconsolable. I couldn't help but think about my grandma and how little I cried at her funeral. It made me cry in the car all the way over to the cemetery to make up for it.

I am so thankful for my family. I'm thankful for the Grows and relatives who welcomed me with a warm hug and included me in their family affairs. I'm thankful for my mom and sister for dropping everything to accommodate Taylor and me on a moment's notice. I'm so thankful for the way my dad and brother Joel instantly stepped up to the plate to deal with the public and attention from the media so that Megan and Curtis can retaliate and lay low for a while. God bless their little family.