All aboard!

I have risen back from the dead and can now blog about my recent experiences. Hold on tight.

I climbed aboard the baby express, unknowingly, but aboard regardless. I was slightly unprepared, however. I was lacking really important nutrients that growing embryos constantly suck from your bones. By week 6, yes I know that's early, I temporarally fell off the babytrain and got dragged behind, holding on  for dear life.

I got the text-book symptoms of morning sickness. Tired, pukey, and I realized living at my new house was a major problem because it was a stink pot of dirt, cat pee, smoke, and I couldn't take it anymore, so I decided to take over my old room at my parent's until I could handle my house again. It's been a month and I cannot get myself to go home. I'm afraid.

My first appointment went well. I got blood work done and without warning I passed out when she was putting the cotton swab on my arm. Yup, out cold. Then I woke up briefly, and passed out again, even colder. I finally gained consciousness after three nurses were called in and my body was propped just right as to get the blood back to my brain. Scary and embarrassing. and sweaty.

I carried on like sick fish floating in old poopy water for three weeks, functioning like an adult with special needs. The smells of shampoo and conditioner would have me running for the toilet, so washing my hair was out of the question for a while. Suddenly, my throwing up once or twice turned into throwing up 30 seconds after I put something in my mouth. Frustrating, especially since I was really lacking nutrients. It got to the point where I couldn't keep water, saltine crackers, sprite, or chicken noodle soup down.

I received some medical intervention, but I didn't know at the time I needed more, like an actual IV and overnight stay in the emergency room. My body closed down after a few days and one morning as I was laying on the couch, I woke up to take a nibble of dry toast, which magically stayed down. Next thing I know I had completely soaked my undergarments and the couch cushion with bright red blood.

So I, with the supervision of my mother, passed a lot of bright red blood, watching and waiting for my little baby to make an appearance. I was drugged up, in shock, and didn't quite grasp what was happening. I just stared while my mom cleaned up what looked like a homicide scene in the bathroom. I remember briefly passing out, escaping earth for a few seconds, and I remember seeing white clouds. My mom was touching my face and I thought angels were touching me. It felt so divine.

I came back to and sat up. Suddenly my stomach rumbled and I instantly craved strawberry yogurt. As my mom talked with the nurse, I had  a bowl of yogurt, jello, and leftover pasta all in one sitting. Even though I was mortified of what just happened, I really needed to get food in my stomach before anything else could happen. Color came back to my face and I was surprisingly stronger than I thought I'd be.

Back to the hospital we went. They took my blood, laying down, and I did just fine. Came back home and the smell of the lysol in the bathroom didn't bother me for once. I took deep breaths and just enjoyed the smell of the air-conditioning, dinner warming up, and my mom's shirt that she let me wear.

The next day the nurse called and read me my results from the blood test. My numbers were surprisingly good, but my white blood cell count was higher than they expected after a miscarriage, so they scheduled an ultrasound just to make sure everything was taken care of.

Six daunting days of waiting, guessing, throwing up still, and a trip to urgent care later, I went in and had an ultrasound. Expecting an infection, hemorrhaging, a possible D&C, I was nervous of what they were going to find. Would they give me medicine to help me finish bleeding completely? Would they tell me my cervix is completely ruined and I could never carry children again?? With deep breaths I submitted myself to their care and with a peaceful countenance allowed them to work their magic on me.

Right away the nurse picked up a heartbeat. Of course, she didn't say it was either mine or not mine, so her not saying it was my baby's made me panic. As she's putting the dopler away, she says confidently, "well, sounds like your baby is doing just fine." Tears came to my eyes as I said, "THERE'S a BABY IN THERE?" She looked at me like, duhhhh, and I just smiled to myself.

The doctor came in, did the ultrasound, picked up the heartbeat again, but picked up something of concern. As he showed me my little bean dancing and kicking, he pointed out a pocket of blood just hanging out near my placenta. I forgot the official words he used, but it's not  good. It is a threat of miscarriage if it comes out wrong. But, if I take care of myself and keep it easy, he said it will most likely come out painlessly, like a period, or re-absorb into my body. Until the excess blood goes away, I am still at risk of losing my baby.

Fortunately, I've been blessed by prayers galore. I know Heavenly Father is holding my hand through this because of the leaps of improvement I've made within the past three days. Medicines like Zofran and Phenagren are my crutches right now and I'm not ashamed. I have kept food down for two days straight and I can honestly say right  now I feel back to my normal self, pre-pregnancy. Besides the little waves of gross smells and the tightness of my pants around my belly, I am a new woman.

Ppregnancy is hard. I know women have it harder and deal with more than I had to this last month. But at the end of the day, all I can do is appreciate my mom a thousand times more for going through this SIX times, and wanting SIX babies, and sacrificing her life to bring us into the world. I kept asking myself "why?" over and over. Why do people do this? It is the most miserable thing I've ever done in my life. But then I heard the heartbeat loud and clear and then I remembered why.

I'll try to keep everyone updated, sans long-winded posts like this.
I need a cookie and a fist full of vitamins. TAKE YOUR VITAMINS!!!!