funny,butnotlikehahafunny.

One time I dated a Jew. It was stupid, not because he was Jewish, but because I'm so incredibly Mormon, even if I try not to be. Oh, and it was funny because he was secretly dating me AND another woman, his girlfriend of four years. LOL.

He was very charming. He made me feel like the only person in the room and was very aggressive about getting to know me. The more I resisted, the harder he tried and I finally gave in and let him take me out to ice cream.

He also convinced me to move with him to Boise. Yeah right. But sometimes when you're young and find yourself in a situation where moving to Boise actually makes complete sense, you pack your bags and say your adieu's.

Nothing exciting happened when I got there. We met up twice, once in an precarious parking lot at night, and the other at a water park. Classy.

The funniest part was the morning I received a text from him. It read "Please stop texting D***d, you are ruining our relationship and I would appreciate it if you just left us alone." I knew immediately who wrote it because I knew she (his quote "ex-girlfriend") was also in Boise, probably living with him. I threw my phone at the wall and hid my head under the sheets.

Dang, he's good. I was his mistress without even knowing it!

Unluckily for him, I was really into the show Veronica Mars at the time. The following events transpired only because I had watched about three seasons of Veronica fighting crime and being a victim of two-timing is definitely a crime.

I packed my bags, quit my job, got into my car and drove home.

When he called, I channeled my inner Veronica and let him have it. I have never been so proud of my spot-on choice of words/tone/inflection/confidence. I think I scared the hell out of him because I never heard from him after that.

Although, I may have seen him at ISU's homecoming parade last year. I saw someone with dreads smoking a cigarette in front of a bar on center street. We made eye contact, but I figured I wouldn't mess with a dirty hippie. Literally, dirty and a lot shorter than I remember.