I'm not a blogger. I don't own a business to advertise online. I deactivated my Facbook account again, and I am not a fan of Twitter. I stopped crazily baking everything from Pinterest, so I use it mostly to look at what other random people are pinning. I use Instagram for convenience, but I have like 20 followers. Though, if I were a blogger, owned a business, and enjoyed socializing with my friends and family through Facebook, then I would live up to the standards set by my generation. Unfortunately, I'm not that cool and the thought of trying to be overwhelms me.
I mentioned that I'm trying to cut out about half of the stuff in my daily life that doesn't necessarily help my progression or thwarts growth. Oddly enough, maintaining this blogspot has really helped me more than I give credit for. It's not for self-promotion, to sell anything, or to necessarily make friends. It's not for others, it's for me.
I started blogging one random day a few summers ago (like five years ago), and it was before any of my friends blogged. So, I blogged a lot of silly stuff. Then I got married and suddenly my life was exposed to a lot of eyes and it absolutely influenced how I blogged from then on. It introduced a new pressure of representing not just myself, but my husband, his family, his friends, and everyone in the mix, in the very best way. I deleted some of my best posts because I didn't want to offend anyone- When really, I just want to write funny stories about my most embarrassing, private moments, because those are the best stories, and because I like to go back and read those stories.
I don't blog for feedback. Sometimes I cringe when I see someone has commented on a pointless, stupid post about nothing significant. I feel bad that I'm putting out material that is mediocre and doesn't truly represent my truest self.
I've changed tremendously in five years, but I'm still the same. I've thought a lot about deleting this blog, hence the lack of posts, but sometimes I just need somewhere to release or collect my thoughts and have the buffer of anonymity to protect me from being liable of saying something that's wrong, or masked, in attempt to protect mine, my family's, my husband, and his family's image.
So, I'm giving vapdance (haha good one) another go 'round because, simply put, I want to. I'm turning comments off. I have no idea if anyone reads this or disagrees with my philosophies or perspective on little issues. I have no idea what my audience is, and I'm not worried about offending anyone because if you're reading this, you've been warned. All I want is to go to a place in my life where I can announce little things, like, "I planted hollyhocks in my front yard today", followed by a picture. So that in a year, I can look back on how my hollyhocks have grown and thrived. Those are the things that interest me, that I am interested in promoting, and want to share with whomever passes through at any random time.
