I think I'm running on 2 hours of sleep in two days. Why? Because I have been anxiously waiting to find out if surgery is in Sawyer's near future. AND>>it's not. His surgeon is a very thorough man, and he felt that even though he is ready for surgery, he wants to wait another 4 weeks. Because once you go in and try to fix it, you can't go back, so he HAS to be 100% ready.
But then they brought up the idea of sending him home with us for 4 weeks, and bring him back for the surgery. I was all for that! I would love to go home with my precious baby. A bit premature? Yes. All I knew was it's what I wanted to do, and I know I could take care of him. I'm sooo done with the hospital scene. I'm ready to lounge around in my pj's and belt out songs and watch Mad Men reruns on Netflix and do the things you do with a baby in the solitude of your own home. The staff pep-talked me and said they'd get stuff together to send us home.
And then it hit. Early this morning at 2 am, somewhere between a mug of sleepy time herbal tea and a trip to the potty-- I'm not ready to take him home. Such a huge responsibility that I'm not sure I'm ready for. So I called the NICU and told them he needs to stay. He is where he needs to be, however long it takes, even though everyone has complete confidence that it would work.
By some sweet mercy, the surgeon called me this morning. The first words out of his mouth were "Let's not send him home. I've been thinking about it all night and he needs to stay in the hospital."
We don't know why exactly, but Sawyer is going to stay here, with the nurses who know and LOVE him and will watch his suction thingy diligently. We must have angels watching over us.
2 comments:
ahh. vanessa. my heart breaks every time i read a post about your sweet sawyer. i am sooo sorry that you guys have had to deal with this challenge. but THANKFULLY you do have a doctor who is thorough and DOES care. i hope you are doing well. can i please stop by for a visit sometime this week? i have a class on tues and thurs from 6-8 at the U.... if there is a time before or after that that would work for you i would love to see you. hugs until then!
hey v! ty is going to louisiana for the summer to sell security. i have a job here so im staying but its super flexible so im going to go visit a bit. pretty sure im in for the lonliest summer of my life.
i am disappointed to hear there is more waiting for surgery..but im so glad it sounds like sawyers doc really cares about him a lot and will do whats best even if its hard. what a blessing. we think about you guys all the time. keep hangin in there sis. youre amazing and we love you. let us know what we can do for you :)
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