I can honestly say this past summer has been...unique.
Every morning, I'd wake up to Sawyer slapping me in the face. My first thought was, "Here we go again." We'd ascend the stairs, slowly making our way to the bright morning light pouring into the kitchen. I'd watch Sawyer squint his eyes. Then I'd kiss his cheek because I love his morning face. Straight to his room, I change his diaper, then I use the bathroom, then I turn on the TV and strap him in his "eating" chair. I find the right channel, turn off the front porch light, then get his pump ready for breakfast. As soon as he is settled in, getting fed, and has cartoons on, I have about 45 minutes to shower, tidy the house, and eat breakfast. I have it down to a science.
During the day, we alternate between the same four or five activities. Each activity involves me, even nap time. I have to lay down with him, sing Primary songs, encourage him to close his eyes. Sometimes, I fall asleep with him, convinced that as a single mom, the only way I'll last the day is to "sleep when he sleeps." Never once have I regretted taking those naps.
I was included in a lot of social activities. Ones that required me to entrust in the help of a babysitter. It was stressful and sometimes more work than it was worth, but I always benefited from taking those breaks. With the help of others, in the process, Sawyer has gotten to know his cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents on both sides really well, so much so that whenever we have visitors, he goes nuts out of pure excitement. His favorite person in the world? Grandpa. You can be the best parent in the world, but nothing quite compares to the power of the Grandparent/Grandchild dynamic.
I moved our king size bed downstairs after we got carpet in April. That move aided in many nights of deep slumber, thanks to the cooler temperature and lack of natural light. I cleaned out the garage and painted the floor with cement paint. I cleaned out the shed and rearranged the tools and storage. I threw away a lot of crap. I loved Wednesdays because that's garbage day and it always felt so good watching the garbage can empty. I took three online classes, and passed each one. I attempted to hire a contractor to remodel the upstairs bathroom, but chickened out at the last minute. I filled an entire garbage dumpster with landscaping rocks only to find out it was way too heavy to move to the sidewalk, so I dumped most of it out and am slowly throwing away a bucket or two every week. This last weekend, I moved my king size bed back up to our upstairs room, after I re-painted the walls and every inch of trim. I hung up roman shades, a mirror, and curtains in the kitchen. My hands are rough and calloused, but after learning how to use a power drill, I'm convinced I could build my own house. Or at least put the curtains up by myself.
I traveled across the country twice. I wrestled with a toddler on five airplanes for the sake of seeing my husband.
I frequented Fred Meyer almost daily. I thought about opening a grocery store that you can drive-through and pick up your groceries so you don't have to pack and unpack your child every time you need one or two things from the store.
My little sister moved in for a month. I doggie-sat for my little brother's dog, Jack. Jack got ran over two weeks ago and I cried a lot.
I got called to serve in the nursery in April. I had to adjust for this calling because Sawyer can't do three-hour blocks. Not now, at least. So, I have to miss sacrament every week, and go babysit for the last two hours of church. I'm happy to serve in the nursery, so long as I never have to serve while preggo.
I drove back and forth to Primary Children's Medical Center on average twice a month. Sawyer's last treatment on his esophagus went smoothly, so the Doctor okayed us waiting at least a month or two for the next treatment.
The days start to blur together and there are times when I wake up and really have to think about what day of the week it is. Sometimes I get caught up in my thoughts, and I would have to take Sawyer for a walk to clear my head. I stopped making dinner and just ate bowls of cereal instead. I made cookies or other Pinterest goodies weekly. I gained 5 lbs and don't even care anymore. I read the Hunger Games series, as well as my favorite book Mrs Mike (twice) in between school assignments.
I let my hair grow after getting it cut dreadfully short in February. I hated life for the first few months of short hair, but now it's long enough to pull up in a pony tail, leave it down, or make it wavy. I'm starting to look more like a girl now.
Finally, and most importantly, I devoted my heart to my loving husband as I've endured circumstances beyond my control. I isolated myself from outside worries to snuggle with Sawyer every chance he'd let me. I think a lot about my temple marriage and how valuable it is to me. I drew closer to and allowed the Spirit to convert me time and time again. I've sinned. I've repented. I've grown and healed and have such a clearer perspective on life.
I didn't come across any Sasquatches, peeping Toms, or Spirits, and for the most part, people called me first before coming over so I wasn't spooked out when I heard a knock on the door. On a totally unrelated note, one night I totally left my keys in my front door, with my car in the driveway. Sometimes I truly wonder where my brain is.
